Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad

Categories: figuring it out, music, reminiscing, thinking too much, why am i doing this again?

I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you
Now don’t be sad
Cause two out of three ain’t bad

-Meatloaf

So my song would go slightly differently… like… I love you, I’ll do anything for you… except.. well u know. At least… never when you want or expect it… and never as frequently as you would like.

I’m feeling a serious void tonight. I tried to talk to Max about it but she was a little sloshed and really didn’t have much to offer. I sat there and for the first time in a long time… i zoned out and the thought of it all being over soothed me for a moment. I know I’ll lapse out of it. I’m probably moody from the chemicals. And nauseous from drinking the other night. But I’m terribly sad tonight. I avoided coming home for hours… i tried to find anything else to do so I wouldn’t have to be here… so I could feel completely isolated. But here I am. I just delayed the loneliness. It was sitting here on my bed, waiting for me to come in.

For the last few weeks, I come home and stare at my buddy list and wonder where all the people are that I used to chat for hours with… into the wee hours of the morning. Where are all those filler folks who made the day pass a little faster. Have I become so detached? I’m in a whole universe on my own. A mind full of things I’ll never have…

I should be better in the morning. Things to do tomorrow to keep my mind busy…

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