Beautiful… Excellent… Number One!

Beautiful… Excellent… Number One!

Honestly? It isn’t how I was feeling this morning or yesterday. Things have become rough at home and increasingly, I find myself looking for refuge or escape only to have to come to terms with the fact that I have no other home and MUST make myself comfortable there. I spend more and more time locked up in my room or out wandering the streets because the thought of being home makes my skin crawl. Let’s face it… The minute I get off the train station at 90th Street, I’m holding back a little vomit in my throat. My entire living situation is repugnant by my standards and I can’t WAIT for us to solidify new living arrangements.

So every morning is a sprint for me to get out of there, and every night is at least an hour long struggle to relax enough to fall asleep. So the days have been long and unrested and the demands on my attention: many. I’ve been borderline surly… I actually turned away a phone calls from Jean and Isis on account of my bad mood and rebuffed MJ’s offer for lunch – unheard of – as I try to NEVER miss an opportunity to spend time with any of the afforementioned. But my brain was fried and spirits low. I was even told at my job that I received a “promotion” and met it with more trepidation than anything (more on that later).

And the icing on it all… Auntie is in town BEATIN’ MY ASS… Which lends to me getting exactly 3 hours of sleep last night.

So I woke up this morning, faced the challenges of my home, sped through the process of dressing and leaving. I went up to the corner store before the train to buy some gum and the man behind the counter pointed to my eyes and said:

“Beautiful. Excellent… Number 1!”

Thanks for the reminder, God!

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