Vanishing

As she stepped out of the office building, the wind slapped rain droplets onto her bare legs reminding her of what effort she went through today just to be ignored. As she propped the manet on her umbrella open and swirled it into place over head, she inhaled deeply and thought to herself, “maybe this is it… Maybe tonight is the night that I disappear into the darkness…” She held back a small grin as she contemplated the idea of her erasure. Wiping her clean from the ongoing record books and finally ending this enigma of a life. She had twiddled the idea around in her head countless times. At her own hand was too grim. By someone else’s was too tragic. But if she somehow – ceased to exist and vaporize into a puff of air…. Some folks would learn to accept…. And others still would decide that she would be sighted throughout the years like Elvis. The saddest part to death is all the horrid ceremony that accompanies. The dragged feet processions. The forced strength on faces of those who lost calling up the empathy in your heart of when you lost and now everyone cries… She shook her head and dismissed it. It still wouldn’t be the attention she craved. In mere months folks would forget. She would get to be a distant memory that might be mentioned at a house party every now and again. And how would that make it any different from right now. There will be more days with more pretty dresses and the hour it took to put herself together that would go unnoticed and under appreciated.

She just had to learn to live with being a shadow…

And this rain for right now.