Creative Ways of Bending

So the one thing I’ve had to learn as I recover from surgery is that even though they tell you that you have to take it easy and not do A LOT of the things that you’re used to doing, there are some things you kind of have to figure out for yourself.  Like if you drop the soap in the shower, you certainly (well… i certainly) can’t ask someone to come in from wherever they are in the house and pick up the soap for me.  So I’ve been revisiting a lot of knee bends that don’t require bending at the waist at all.  Deep modified plies have been helping me a lot with mobility.   I still can’t wait till I can just move freely.   I’m getting that slight “tearing” sensation when I do something too suddenly or move in a direction that my body’s not ready for.  But it’s familiar from when I was recovering from my lateral myomectomy and my c-section.  It’s about the same but I don’t want to exasperate anything.   The glue hasn’t fallen off of the incision spots yet, so that’s good that they’re holding on.

I’m noticing a more pronounced “sensation” we’ll call it, when I swallow.  Like a lump in my throat but further down.  And a tightness in my chest a little to the left.  I’m assuming that’s the band.  I’m sure all my questions will be answered at my follow up.   I’ve been really thinking about foods I enjoyed, the textures and the tastes and how i was comforted by eating them.  But going through this surgery and the presence of the band puts such a hard “stop” on these thoughts.  Like I start to reminisce and when it begins to head down the road of “would be nice to have it again” – a new voice in my head kicks in and says rather forcefully, “Well you CAN’T.  And stop that.   It’s physically impossible and get used to this now.”  Might sound harsh, but it’s good to know that this battle is being won on a mental front.  It’s what I need.

I’m realizing one of the things taking a serious hit is my bonding time with the hubby.   A typical day would consist of us getting up, playing with our daughter, getting ready for work, bringing her to school, getting to work, reclaiming her from school, playing with her a little more, putting her to bed and then we’d reconvene as a couple over a meal.  Catch up on the stuff that happened in the day, discuss what’s going on during the week… comment on the TV show that we’re watching.    The band has really changed that dynamic.  I know that it’s really early still but he feels guilty having food around me since I’m in this clear liquid phase still.   And honestly I remove myself sometimes whey they’re having popcorn or fruits because I feel my will waning.   I know it will get better soon, but it’s hard now as we adjust.

He did say that he noticed the top of my tummy is starting to flatten down which gave me chills for 2 reasons.  1) because it’s true and maybe something is working – i’m not gonna look at the scale though; and 2) because he’s looking.  And that always gives me good chills.

Bring it on Day #3…  They said you were the worst one…  But I’m ready.

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