Don’t Fart… (Day 4)

Well… I should have been paying closer attention to all the messages on the Bariatric Pal board that say “liquid in, liquid out”. I have nothing binding me and it should have made sense that air alone could not pass from within. And so out of laziness because I had found a comfortable spot on my recliner (can’t WAIT to go back to my bed in a week) and the dream was too good to leave behind… i sharted. It was terrible. In the middle of the night, I had to shower change and clean (it wasn’t alot but I’m totally anal about that kind of thing — see what I did there?  LOL)  So it just jostled my whole sleep flow then i had nightmares all night (unrelated).  It was just bad.  It made me remember a meme I saw online that said “Love is like a fart… if you have to force it then it must be shit.”  So… lesson learned – just take it to the bathroom.

The timely discovery of chicken soup broth on the dreaded Day 3 was a total win for me.   I mean… chicken broth is just colored tears.   It’s horrid.  It has this irony smell to it and it leaves your mouth tasting all …. gamey.  So my husband suggested to me, as he sat there looking at me stare off into the distance undoubtedly wishing for something I could chew, to boil up a Progresso chicken noodle soup then strain out all the stuffs and drink THAT broth.   I mean… a single tear wants to fall when I think how ingenious that was.  I could taste the chicken…. but the carrots and the celery and the noodles…. it was all a part of that beautiful bowl of liquid gold.  And I felt satisfied when I was done.   The chicken soup broth was a game changer.   So the hubby went out and bought all sorts of brothy soups that I’ll strain and enjoy in the coming days!

Exercise wise, just in time, I’ve stumbled across an MMO (Massively Multiplayer Online) game called Ingress.  So the whole purpose of this game is to get you out walking, hiking, biking.  That’s really the bottom line.  But they’ve entrenched the game in this Matrix-like story line that there are portals all over the world that XM (exotic matter) is leaking through and there are two factions of belief about what can be done with XM – The Resistance (who believes that XM is going to be harnessed to enslave the human race so we have to fight against  whoever is trying to do so) or The Enlightenment (who believes that XM could be our passage way to “leveling up” as humans and taking us to the next plateau).  And so you have to walk around claiming portals (that are just really buildings, murals, landmarks and other sight seeing things…) in the name of your faction.   I’m part of the Enlightenment and man… this thing has gotten me SO excited about walking!!  I am sitting here icing my Achilles wondering if I can go back out and check out some portals I saw earlier.  This was incredibly timely and just what i needed.

All the pieces are falling into place just like they really should – because I was supposed to do this.  I was supposed to finally shed this weight and burden and get back to the business of being me.

To quote a late 80’s visionary…

“I love it when a plan comes together.”
-Hannibal of the A-Team