I was not designed to be a slave

I really need to go into business for myself. Because this answering to people crap has to end. I was the victim of a classic case of kick the dog today… and I really have no one to turn and kick in return, because I’m the BOTTOM of the stupid totem pole. That has to end. I can’t really live like this anymore.

I had a meeting with my #1 about starting our business together. I really hope this works. They always say “don’t go into business with someone you love or with a friend”… but I’m praying our friendship is strong enough to keep us friends forever…. and make us a shitload of money in the process.

I spoke with my #2 today!!! I was so excited. Her mom is getting re-married and she says she’s looking to do the same. Everyone is moving on in life.

I was looking at this really big woman walking down the street today… wearing a tight assed shirt and a tight pair of pants with just… rolls… spilling out everywhere… and walking with confidence… like she was the shit. And I wonder… me with my overgrown mumus and all sorts of flowing material to make sure that my rolls are well concealed walks with my head down and hope no one notices me. I have to change that.

I saw my baby today… just for a second. But I couldn’t stop kissing him. His lips were so full and his eyes were so inviting that although I knew he was late… I just had to kiss and kiss and kiss. He’s got GREAT lips. I love his lips. I love him. He’s groovy.

I’m sleepy… I guess I’ll go to bed. I had another restless night last night. I had nightmares that both my parents were sick and my dad was throwing up again (the way he was the night he was hospitalized in August) and we all had thermometers in our mouths (cause I’m sick too)…. and everyone was just sick and I had to take care of them. And I had to check on them.

I have to get out of here… it’s destroying my mental health. It’s making me old too fast.