Operation Clean Heart

Today’s Soundtrack: Create In Me a Clean Heart – Donnie McClurkin

I took a personal health (mental, that is) today and I just cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. And it’s amazing what that does. I didn’t sleep a wink last night. Tossing and turning about and swearing that something was in the room with me. Honestly, I think it was evil spirits. And they were hell bent on making sure that I didn’t rest or feel rested. So this morning at 6… when I had only been asleep for 2 hours… I was in no shape to get up for anything. I called in and slept for a little while longer (although tortured). I woke up, took a shower, had breakfast with mom, got some work clothes on and got busy. And the more clutter I threw in the trash, the better I felt. I just felt like… life was normalizing. I cleaned things I didn’t realize had to be cleaned till I opened up those drawers or unpacked that box and saw stuff that I haven’t seen in YEARS. It felt GREAT! So I’m looking around now at the lack of clutter… and I can feel that tonight will be a better night’s sleep. That I’ll just be more rested overall.

My dear friend told me that I should name this effort to keep it fun. Rather, I chose a name that means a lot to me. I want to clean, because I need the energy to flow. Not just because I’m a stickler for cleanliness (Lord knows I’m not). But I want my life to begin moving in a progressive direction and I believe that I can do it. The song playing is the song that the interpretative dance was done to that Sunday when the Spirit grabbed me and shook me. And it’s appropo. A clean heart. That’s what I want. A clean heart, clean mind, conscious and spirit with which to conquer all my troubles. I’ve waded in them long enough and made more of a mess. It’s time to pick myself up by the bootstraps and change my situation. Only God can do that. Only I can give passage to His works.

Create in me a clean heart… and purify me.

Create in me a clean heart so I may worship thee.