Working Very Very VERY FUCKING HARD

“How are you doing Vic?” “I’m working Very very VERY Fucking hard….” That’s my response. The workload has consumed me… I dream about it. I think about it constantly. Trying so hard not to misstep. I’m barely living life. I’m alive but not living. I’m eating but not tasting. It’s wake up at some ungodly hour…. rush to work to be there before 8:30… stay there till 7…. come home… stare at the computer comatose… get in bed… only to wrestle with sleep… and just as I think the sleep is coming to me welcome… the alarm goes off. I haven’t had a moment to really just sit and think since… Thanksgiving. I’m burning out and I’m scared. I’m not even supposed to be awake now. But I thought it would be a shame if I let a month go by and not blog.

I don’t even know what’s happened. Life is whizzing past me. I need to catch up… but will I get a chance? I feel so trapped where I am now… trapped and set up…. and that if I stay there… it will just realize their plan… to cast me aside whenever they feel like.

I need rest. I hope I’ll sign on again soon

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