Dazed and Confused

That’s my general state of mind lately. I just feel out of it all the time. Doesn’t matter if I’ve slept for 4 days straight, I am still tired half way through the day. But I started taking my vitamins today and someone actually said I look like I’ve lost weight. Of course I didn’t need to hear that before I go weighing in tomorrow. God forbid that scale say something different.

I’m formulating a plan of action in my head for how I’m going to dig out of this ditch. Somewhere in May, I’m going to find 4 days (maybe even a full work week). to take off. During that week, I’m going to clean as much as I can, see as many doctors as I can and just try to get as much rest as I can. I think I deserve it. I hope it doesn’t exhaust me more. The cleaning alone makes me want to go crawl up into my bed. But I think that before I turn 30… a whole lot of things have to happen. And one of them is making my safe haven um… more accomodating. I hope i put this into action. Curves hasn’t seen hide nor hair of me since 2 weeks ago. And I’ve been so programmed that any reason that I would give comes out of my head as an excuse. Tools of the weak and incompetent yadda yadda.

Oh well… let’s see what tomorrow brings.

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