Waking State

Waking State

I had a disturbing dream last night and again it was so hard for me to distinguish between my dream life and my awake state… for a long time as I drifted between states, I couldn’t discern what was real.

In the dream a good friend of mine had died suddenly. I don’t know from what. And at the point in my dream, I was trying to decide if I was going to go to his wake AND his funeral. But the reality of his passing hadn’t sunk in yet. I still thought I could just pick up a phone and call him if I wanted. Until I bumped into another mutual friend who helped to bring it home. And I just remember sitting there with a tissue and crying so hard I woke up crying that way in real life. And I stopped for a moment, laying in my bed and took inventory of where I was. But for a few moments, I knew the world of my dreams to be the truth. And all I could think to myself was… I had so much more to say to him. Now I can’t. It was really tough because it set the whole tone for my morning and until I got in contact with him in real life… I was still kind of up in the air about his existence.

I think I’m going crazy.

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