Do Over

Crazy dream last night. 

I was working in a place that was constructed as a hybrid between Vanguarde and the digital department at Emmis circa 2015. My co workers were Angela Yee and Charlamagne tha God from the Power 105.1 breakfast club and instead of DJ Envy, the third member of the group was Pharrell Williams from the Neptunes. But I was a fourth somehow. Like a producer for their show or some one important but in the background.  We were discussing the making of a movie that seems to have been in talks for a while and had become a regular part of our workday. 

At one point when the discussions died down, I walked over to where Pharrell was. He positioned himself in front of me (I had my back against the wall) slid his arms around me depositing his hands on the small of my back.  He pulled me in slowly and deliberately and inhaled the perfume on my neck as he kissed it passionately, sensitively.  The most foreign familiar feeling struck me in real life through the dream.  It had been a dogs age since I remember feeling THAT tingle. That warm wave moving through me of being wanted like that and “believing” (is the best way I can describe it) that it was genuine and reciprocated.  

As he admired me, Charla made it clear that not only was this inappropriate for the workplace, but “why not him?”   I shot him a look and P gently maneuvered my face back to him and whispered, “Don’t mind him….”. He suggested we go into his office and motioned to lead me by the hand.  I stopped short of his door and said I needed to use the powder room quickly first.  

In the hallway where the bathrooms were, a few other engineers and producers continued to talk about the movie.  I stopped for a moment to participate.  One of the engineers said something and my quick retort back was something along the lines of thinking he was an alien.  I meant it in jest but suddenly the scene started to deconstruct.  All the engineers began moving towards me as if preparing for a chase so I took off running only to be tackled and something resembling a tuning fork was forcefully jammed up my nose as I heard a few people mumble “She made us out.  We have to start over.”

Next I remembering walking through the streets with Angela.  Seems as if we are shopping and it’s the holiday season. We were chit chatting and the subject of the movie came up again. And as we were chatting, I mentioned how weird it was last time we talked about everything, how the engineers flipped out cause I called them aliens.   The look of disappointment on her face was undeniable.  “You remember that?”  Exasperated, she reached in her bag and pulled out a gun of some kind.  She shot me in the face and as I was going down, I saw she shot herself as well. 

Back in the office with the crew as if nothing happened.  But I know that it did.  Some sick twisted version of Groundhog Day where I understand if we can just get to the making of the movie and I don’t call out everyone obviously being aliens then I’d be safe.    It was all weird enough.  But my main focus is was to get back in Pharrell‘s arms and into his office. A few more iterations of the scenario played out. Even one where we were on the road to the filming location.  But none of them led me back to that intimate moment.  

*